bebeto's dead
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Blog Of The Rings: The Chester's Menace
2 days ago, my bro's menacing black mutt, chester, chased a neighbour down the streets (again) n almost mauled him to death...
this angered the residents in the neighbourhood. they gathered in front of our house and confronted us concerning the many problems chester has caused...
soon a household meeting was initiated...
mum: today, u had all been summoned here, to answer the threat of chester. taman megah had not been safe lately with this menace prowling the streets. none had escaped him. not the newspaperman, the postman or even the door-to-door salesman...which is a good thing. *ahem* bring forth the menace, shiong!
shiong grabbed chester by the collar n placed him on the pedestral. people started whispering...
ming: but mummy...chester is a good dog...look at him he's so cute...think of all the good times we have together!
kit: like dat time u let him into the house n he shitted all over the sofa?!
shiong: we must get rid of chester!
ming: no way!
kakak: anjing boleh tolong jaga rumah ler...
granny: lu mai koh leh ee koh kar ho hor sa ker.
kit: what are we waiting for?! lets send him away to the local pound!
dad: would u'all keep it down?!...im trying to watch a football match!
mum: for goodness sake would u make yourself useful?!
chester sat on the pedestral and watched confusely as the family members bickered amongst themselves...
soon ming regained his determination n approached the arguing family members...
ming: i will take care of chester! i will teach him how to be a good dog!
the argument died down...n everyone turned slowly towards ming...
shiong: im with u. u have my muzzle.
mom: u have my chain and leather whip!
kit: and u have my frisbee!
dad: damnit who's having my remote control!
chester had escaped the attention of everyone n seems to be biting violently on something....
uh oh...
its the remote control.
CHESTER!!!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
scene 1:
the dream lounge
blisterin techno music thumped the air as colorful spotlights danced dizzyingly to the beat. a bevy of scantily clad chicks took to the dance floor to strut their assets. cliques of teens lounged at their tables. laughin n tellin silly jokes, all the while sipping from their starbucks capuchino which were distributed for free as part of a promotion.
at the back, a group of starbucks ceos shook hands with george, owner of the place, delighted with their success in establishing another conglomerate.
scene 2:
table no. 11.
as usual kit, brendan n dilip segregrated at the corner from the rest.
dilip: look at all the newcomers.
brendan: hahaha jinjangs from petaling street.
dilip: yeah by next week i guarantee u they wont be back.
kit: not if they keep up with the promotion thing. wat the hell is up for grabs today?
brendan: coffeebean?
dilip (staring at his coupon): nope. mcds burger n coke. here go redeem em.
kit snatched the coupon from dilip's grasp n tore it to shreds.
dilip: idiot!
brendan: wtf? are u nuts?
kit: watch.
he took the shredded coupons to the counter, talked with the attendant for a few secs n returned with the burger n coke.
dilip: haha how the hell u did dat?
kit: there's no such rule here dat says a coupon in more than one piece is unacceptable.
brendan: haha yeah customer's always right.
kit: customer? i've been comin regularly for the past 5 years n yeah some of em still ask me if im new here!
dilip: dat's because u're an anti-social assklown. anyway alot have change since the last time i came.
kit: damn right things had change! it's become more like a disco now! nobody gives a crap about the spiritual msg anymore when they come. they're all hear to dance, sing n drink starbucks.
brendan(chomping on a bigmac): mmmmm. u mean mcds.
dilip: hey i bet u're the same when u first came to church.
kit: well somehow u'll grow outta it.
...then he turned to look at the yuppies, merrily partying away...
man if jesus is still alive he'll be freakin mad at how things are goin at this place. like in the bible where he busted into the temple, overturned the tables in anger n drove out those doin business in his home.
brendan: yeah if he's here, he would overturn the p.a for playin such stupid songs.
dilip: haha i wonder wat he'll do when he catches u wif those smut cds in your bag!
three of em burst out laughin.....
.........before realising a figure is standin by the table.
uh-oh....
it's pastor george.
pastor george: *ahem!* young men, i hope im not interrupting..........
...........but wat is it in your bag again?
Saturday, February 14, 2004
valentine's day massacre 2
our beloved anti-hero goes on yet another killin spree. this time on unsuspectin love birds!
[coming soon]
RELEASED ON 16.2.2004!
Finally!
The massacre continues.........................................................................................................................
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(apparently this movie had been banned by the Malaysian Film Censorship Board due to excessive graphical violence and pervasive strong language)
Friday, February 13, 2004
friday the 13th: valentine's day massacre
THIS IS THE END FOR ME!
I HAD HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! I'M SO FREAKIN SICK OF IT! SORRY GUYS CAN'T HELP IT ANYMORE! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN U! I'LL BE GONE FOR A LONG LONG TIME! GONA POP THSE FREAKIN PILLS AND BRING AN END TO MY MISERABLE....
....flu.
(gosh u were thinkin dat im gona kill myself?)
well just when i was about to pop the panadols n embrace the comfort of me bed....
alcatel handphone(yeah so wat if i cant afford a better one?): RING! RING!
me:....
brendan(idiot who called): hey im outside your house open your goddamn door!
me: no wait!...im...
chester(the wonderful dog...accordin to my bro): WOLF! WOLF! WOLF!
me(pretendin to look hospitable): brendan! welcome to my crib! cmon in!
brendan: shit get rid of your bloody dog lar! cook him up or somethin!
...then he proceeded upstairs to my room n played some blink 182 songs on my e-guitar...god i abhor pop punk...
brendan: wat happened to eugene btw? call him out to jam lar.
me: he's in my basement. irritated the shit outta me the other day so i killed him.
brendan: haha yeah rite!
me(gettin annoyed): hey cut the crap ler...play somethin decent would u?
....brendan was oblivious to what i just said n continued blastin away...this time im really pissed off!....i walked up to my shelf...picked up a guitar cable n crept up behind him...then i stangled him wif all my might till he breathes no more...so much for not heedin my order, intruder!...i dragged his corpse down to my dimly-litted basement....
...n placed him next to eugene.
(the director would like to apologize to the faint-hearted audiences for the disturbing and violent ending. once again sorry)
Thursday, February 12, 2004
time: 0845
location: com lab 1
as ms cha was busy babblin away for the lecture...i hid behind my com...watchin over my handphone...which was placed enticingly at the end of the table. i lay in wait in the darkness silently like a hunter observing his bait from afar...waitin for the unsuspectin beast to untimely fall into his trap.
u see...
poor sophia just got deprived of her handphone in the com lab...taking the tally of female frens losin their hp in college to 3...n counting. the beast im about to capture is really a cunning one. it executes its trick in the blink of an eye..leavin a tearful damsel in distress. like this once, it managed to evade the eyes of hundreds of students in an exam hall...n took of wif rene's hp, leavin her wif an empty handbag...
last month the college organised a snatch theft prevention campaign..everyone was mockin n scoffin it off as an unnecessary waste of time...then when amin n i were leavin the college..we heard a dude screamin. we watched as the dude frantically chased after a motorcycle.
"HELP! I JUST GOT MUGGED!"
...the irony.
time: 0859
sound of footsteps awaken me...damn i must'd dozed off!...a looming figure approached. quickly i ducked behind my com. then a hand appeared...steadily tryin to grab my handphone...i cant believe my luck!
"HAHA!"
i leapt from behind my com n pounced on the creature...which was completely taken by surprise..i knocked it to the ground n punched it repeatly with my fists.
"THIS IS FOR SOPHIA!"
"...THIS FOR NAD N RENE! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR THE DUDE!
the lights turned on...n i took a good look at the battered culprit.
ooops..
...miss cha.
